All through one's life, we're being encouraged to be the best we could. Parents do whatever they can, hoping that their children are better and live better than they did. That's it..hope; it's that wish we have deep inside our hearts and minds that pushes us forward through our entire life. Some people have a wish that they live for their whole life; others have other little wishes that they get one by one. And there's those who are too pessimist or too afraid to wish for something they thinks for some reason they won't get.
Let's take me for an example, not that i'm anywhere near an ideal example, it's that it's the only one I can explain well.
When I was just a little girl I lost my father, so I only had my mom as a parent. Growing up, she didn’t give much room to wish for anything because she made things happen right before I even wish for them. Then I came to a point when I felt I needed to think what I want to be when I grow up, I was 10 years old then by the way, my process was to look around and see every job that exists on earth and see which one I want to do. After doing a lot of research, for a 10 year old anyway, I decided I wanted to become an engineer. Not knowing what an engineer does, I defied everyone I know in my family or my teachers at school who have always been under the impression that this brainy little girl with glasses and a very big mouth will become a doctor and decided I wanted to be an engineer. Ever since then, every time I pass by my future college I stopped and said to my mom: “it’s my college mom”. That has been my wish for about 7 years since I decided my future career until I got my GCSE with honor. So I got it, the only wish I ever had is mine, now what?! I came across an unexpected surprise that altered the very person I was..my ex-fiancée. I knew him right after high school and starting that moment I had totally forgot about my career and me becoming an engineer at all, I had a new and different wish…I wanted to be his wife. For quite some time I actually though that was a very fulfilling choice of life and I was happy to be in love. Taking my mind off my career and studies, I stumbled through the first two years in college not realizing what a mess I’m doing until my relationship was a mess itself. Without further humiliating details, I set my feet back on track and saved my old dream. Then again I was faced with a blank page, after graduation I felt the worst feeling of emptiness. The what’s next question was written in bold everywhere I look, I even could see it with my eyes closed. It was time for me to really evolve into a different, more mature person that I still didn’t know…a new ME. I knew what I had to do but it wasn’t at all an easy task.
If there’s one good thing about me, it’s that I always take time to think and reflect on things, I never let anything pass without analyzing it taking in whatever experience I can. By the time I reached that blank page I knew what I had to do to start writing the new chapter of my life only because of that. My relationship despite being a failure and the fact that it was simply a wrong choice to begin with still taught me something very valuable that I might have overlooked otherwise and I’d have done the same mistake again only if it was later in life it’d have been harder to fix. I got a second chance and I could fix almost everything in my life because I was still young with lots ahead of me to learn and do. Now I can live my life knowing that I should never feel so little of myself, never to settle for less than what I deserve, and never to give more than what I know I’d get when I need to, not that I expect it but it’s what everybody deserves nonetheless. I take this, and only this, from an experience that changed me in a very wrong way but still somehow made me who I am today. A person, who doesn’t hold grudges from the past, thinks and lives well in the present, and wishes the best for the future.
No comments:
Post a Comment